So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
