i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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