You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize