I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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