And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
