I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
