I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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