I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
