Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
