i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
