Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize