he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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