we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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