I wish I could punch you in the face.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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