3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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