I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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