i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize