just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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