He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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