Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
