We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
