even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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