seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
