You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
