i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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