According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's shark week go big or go home
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
