I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
