i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
as a side note pls kill me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
