i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize