Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize