Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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