Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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