so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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