Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
