We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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