I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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