Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
