All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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