Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize