if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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