I am puke
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
40s are totally the cure
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
