Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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Drunk is not a location!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation