I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
