If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You ate ashes out of my bong
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*