I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.