This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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