The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave