i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...