I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.