while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.