Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.