so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk