I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.