Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.