See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
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I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda