I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?