The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.