I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock