I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.